Even the coolest intimate relations will be richer if you add some novelties and surprises in it. Nowadays there are a lot of sex shops almost in every city around the world, where you can find erotic accessories starting with sexy lingerie of different styles ending with dildos and vaginas.
They always can be ordered by post, moreover they aren't considered anymore to be a sexual pervert prerogative. Thousands of people buy and use them for the purpose of self-satisfaction or for the satisfaction during the coitus. It's important that sex shops and catalogues do not offer their products anymore as the help for onanists. At the very beginning of sex toys appearance, in the middle of seventies, every direction for vibrator use contained the following information: It can help you to relax and to relieve the muscular stress. But in the pictures there was a woman that massaged shoulders, malleolus and even cheeks. Oh, God! Save us from the thought of its penetration into her vagina!!!
Masturbation is no longer a generally recognized vice. Self-stimulation is not only innocuous, but even useful. No one has problems with the head from onanism yet. Masturbation helps both women and men to get rid of stress and loneliness. Also it lets you learn much more about your own body and sexuality. If you really know what you love during masturbation you can easily explain your partner what type of stimulation of genitals he should choose to satisfy you. The results of it: you derive pleasure from it, and he gains an experience and self-confidence as a subtle lover! As you know sex can solve any problem between man and woman. So, diversify your sexual life using sex toys!!!
20.4.08
Sex and Mysterious G-spot
All of us know that proper stimulation of erogenous zones is extremely important for achieving orgasm. Generally speaking, each of us knows what erogenous zones are and where they can be found. Most people interested in sex theory and practice are aware of the fact that there is some mysterious zone in female body called the G spot, which if stimulated properly provides a very intensive orgasm.
The G-spot is a quite often discussed nowadays, but in spite of this topic's popularity almost no one can explain what this miraculous zone is and how it should be stimulated. Let us try to lift the veil of secrecy from this recently discovered erogenous zone.
The G-spot was discovered in the forties of the previous century by famous German gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg. However, this discovery had been unnoticed for quite considerable amount of time. Only in the eighties of the 20-th century when American sexologists repeatedly found this female erogenous zone and acknowledged its existence, this topic began being discussed by scientists. Many doctors still deny this spot’s existence, whereas other ones give extremely discrepant information on the G-spot function and location.
So, according to today's scientific data, the G-spot lies behind the front wall of the vagina. Depending on a woman's body individual features it can be placed within about 1-2 inches inside the vagina, sometimes even deeper. It is a tiny, bean-shaped area which when stimulated swells and becomes as big as a nubbin. Actually, the G-spot's size when aroused considerably varies from woman to woman (according to some data the G-spot can become as big as a button). The researches have shown that vaginal area where the G-spot lies is not quite sensitive; therefore quite intensive stimulation should be applied for search of this erogenous zone. Usually such stimulation is nearly impossible during usual intercourse that is why most women even do not suppose they have the G-spot which can provide them with a great enjoyment they never experienced before.
How to find the G-spot?
This is not quite easy when being calm and not aroused. If you want to find your partner’s G spot than you had better begin this quite difficult search during foreplay when your girlfriend is about to cum or has just orgasmed, i.e when her G-spot is swelled.
Your girlfriend should lie with her legs apart. Insert two fingers into the vagina and examine the area lying behind the pubic zone. Ask your partner suggest in what manner you should move your fingers. You must find a little solid nubbin approximately as big as a pea (it may be a little bigger) which when pressed might cause discomfort in the woman. Such sensations quite soon turn into increasing arousal which usually results in a very strong orgasm.
How to stimulate the G-spot?
The G-spot is quite difficult to stimulate effectively during usual intercourse, unless the male partner has a little crooked penis.
Usually horsewoman position is recommended for a better G-spot stimulation, because while performing intercourse in this position a woman can easily control her partner's motions.
However, the best effect is achieved when the G-spot is stimulated with help of specially designed sex toys.
All adult toys designed for the G-spot stimulation feature crooked shaft. Some of these toys for adults can be as thin as a pencil, whereas other ones are quite thick. They can be both short and long.
When choosing a G-spot adult toy you should take into consideration your own physiological features. You can choose a relatively long massager, if your G-spot is placed quite deeply, but if it is near the entrance to the vagina, than perhaps you should choose a shorter sex toy.
Do you need an intense stimulation? Than you had better choose a considerably bent vibrator, and on the contrary, those who prefer gentle stimulation should choose a slightly crooked G-spot massager.
The material your adult toy is made of is also very important. The massager can be made of plastic, metal or latex. Such a device can be used for less sensitive or deeply placed G spot. But if your G-spot is sensitive enough, than you had better get a softer vibrator, for example one made of silicone, or a so called jelly massager.
All G-spot vibrators feature a few speeds to help you choose a device suitable exactly for you.
Some men think that search of the G-spot is foolish and unnecessary. Is there any use persuading them that they are wrong?
It is known that men in most cases achieve orgasm, whereas almost no woman gets the desired pleasure every time she has sex, to say nothing of those who do not orgasm at all. Therefore everything that helps women enjoy sexual relationships must be applied by their loving partners. Women do deserve orgasms!
Sexual Fantasies
Have you ever given much thought to the differences between the sexual fantasies typically conjured up by men and women? Men, it seems, tend to have more sexual fantasies than women and these are more likely to be paired with masturbation. Men, by nature being visual, are likely to create graphic images of women's sexual bodies and imagine watching them, seducing them or, quite often, being seduced by them. For a male, the story line of a fantasy is uaually quite genital and accompanied with explicit visual images.
Women, in general, fantasize less than their male counterparts. Those women who do fantasize are typically less visual in their sexual fantasies, are usually less focused on genitals, and are more likely to construct a story with the emotional feelings of a romantic encounter. Women also tend to involve more olfactory and auditory memories... memories of smells and sounds. To be sure, however, there are women who masturbate to their fantasies, be they romantic or erotic.
Sexual fantasies can serve many purposes. They can induce sexual desire, maintain sexual arousal, enhance the sexual experience, trigger an orgasm, and preserve a memory.
The desire to be sexual is not something controlled by a switch and easily turned on following the eleven o'clock news. Many people, particularly as they age or as a relationship matures, find that the easy turn ons occur less frequently, particularly late at night. On those occasions when time is limited, fantasies can serve to focus attention on the anticipated erotic event and help induce the desire for sexual intimacy.
More than one person has told me, "I'm not able to get excited on a moment's notice. I need time to psych myself up." To induce desire, you can think ahead about what you would like to experience and what you and your partner will give and receive. Imagine the sexual encounter is your very first, but without those initial anxieties, and let it be, in your mind, a new and exciting adventure. Recall the good sexual feelings you have experienced and mentally reminisce about those most memorable past encounters. Conjure up the memory of a partner's warmth, softness, and gentle touch. See your partner's face in your mind's eye and recall that person's sounds of pleasure and the aroma of their excitement. Include only the graphic images you are comfortable with.
Desire can be induced mutually throughout the day, with, for example, a phone call to say, "I've been thinking of your wonderful body." The mid-day message, "You won't believe what I want to do to you tonight," might stir the erotic imagination of both partners, causing each to spend the day thinking of the possibilities in store for that night.
For those without a partner, fantasies during the day can become the prelude for an episode of self-loving that evening. Self-stimulation, the normal, natural way of experiencing solitary pleasure, is a healthy outlet for many who are alone. Fantasy during the day can certainly prepare you for the quiet celebration of your own sexual response.
Most of us have had the experience of beginning a sexual encounter, only to find our minds wandering off to the worries of the day or the pressing issues of tomorrow. Erotic fantasy can maintain arousal by pushing away the intrusive nonsexual thoughts. When distractions hit, we need only focus on a pleasant sexual memory or project an exciting visual image on our mental movie screen. Fantasies can be of our current sexual partner, but often they will revolve around persons from the past, coworkers, movie stars, or attractive strangers. Bringing others into fantasies is normal and is justified if it serves the current relationship by eliminating distractions that would otherwise dampen or destroy the passion. Obviously, if someone feels guilty about including others in his or her fantasy script, they should be left out. Some people like a cast of thousands, while others want to focus exclusively on their current partner.
Many people worry about their fantasies being too "kinky", but such fantasies are really quite common. Unusual fantasies can help maintain arousal and are harmless if there is no compulsion to actually experience an act that would be emotionally or physically harmful to oneself or to others. Whereas honesty is usually the best policy, discretion must be used in the sharing of some unusual fantasies or fantasies involving other people. It is rare that a couple can share such deep, dark, private thoughts without, at best, a little discomfort. Too often the reaction upon hearing a partner's most kinky fantasy is one of jealousy or distrust, if not anger and disgust.
One woman playfully imagined that her partner's penis was enormous, and reported how she would visualize engulfing this gigantic imaginary erection into her body. In her mind she would privately marveled at her vagina's ability to swallow up this massive tool. She quickly acknowledged, however, that she had no desire to experience anything that large in real life, but she did enjoy embellishing her fantasy with the thoughts of dressing this impressive male member in doll's clothing and taking it for walks in the park. During her sexual encounters, this fantasy helped rivet her attention on the pleasure she was feeling from the very adequate, reasonably-sized penis of her partner.
One night, this woman decided that it would be fun to share her giant penis fantasy with her partner. To her utter surprise, the man was devastated upon hearing her playful musings! He began worrying that she had been with men who had larger penises than his, fearing that these well-endowed men must have please her more than he could ever hope to do. He erroneously assumed that she could not enjoy his average-sized penis, and began to feel totally inadequate as her lover. Fearing he could not satisfy this woman, he backed off sexually. When he did try, he felt self-conscious and, as a result, often failed to become erect. This, of course, led to more avoidance and self-degradation.
In couples therapy this man worked on understanding that his partner's fantasy had nothing to do with his genital size or sexual performance, but made their shared intimacy more exciting for her. In our last therapy session he began laughing and, when questioned, shared his own "pet" fantasy. He had for many years fantasized he was making love to a virgin and that her vagina was the town's tightest. Both agreed that they loved each other, loved the sexuality they shared, and would never again ask about the private fantasies each used to dispel the occasional intruding distractions. The also learned that in reality, tight vaginas and large penises are immaterial when a relationship is based on love and mutual respect.
The consequences of disclosure were more serious for another couple. The man fantasized about having sex with his wife's younger married sister. While he found the sister attractive, he had no illusions about her commitment to her husband and would never, in reality, make a pass at her. When he shared his fantasy, however, his wife expressed anger and disbelief. She became extremely uncomfortable whenever her sister was around and believed that she had to watch them both closely for any signs of subtle flirtation. Angry that she now felt distrusting, not only of her husband, but of her sister as well, she chose to end her marriage with the man rather than further damage her relationship with her sister. The fantasy proved to be too close, too personal, and too threatening.
Many shared fantasies, however, enhance desire and maintain arousal. One night a man entered a singles bar, propped himself up on a bar stool and slowly rotated, carefully surveying the women around him. Apparently no one caught his eye, so he turned his back on the scene and sipped quietly on his drink. About fifteen minutes later, a woman walked in. As her eyes adjusted to the darkened room, she also scrutinized the crowd. She wandered around a bit, being careful not to make eye contact with any of the men scattered around the room. After a few minutes of aimless wandering, she moved up beside the man who was seemingly intent on nursing his drink. Sliding between him and the person sitting next to him, she leaned toward the bar to catch the bartender's attention. As she did, the man felt her breast brush lightly across his arm, but he did not look her way.
After being served, the woman stepped back, drink in hand, and stood behind the man. Aware of her presence, the man turned and looked into her eyes. His unoriginal inquiry, "Do you come her very often?" was met with an abrupt, "No!" As he turned toward her, his leg came to rest against her thigh. She made no attempt to avoid the contact, but waited for him to continue his attempt to initiate conversation. Awkwardly he asked, "What do you do for fun?" Both grinned at her response, "I pick up strange men in singles bars." At this point the drink he had been nursing so patiently was gulped down in record time and he asked her to dance. She played at being reluctant, but allowed him to convince her. On the dance floor, they danced as though each was covered by porcupine quills and a large man on a Harley-Davidson could have driven between them. As they continued to dance, however, they moved closer until, from a distance, it looked as though their bodies had blended into one.
As they left together he asked, "Shall we take your car or mine?" Again giggling, they took his car to the nearest motel, where he produced a bottle of wine from an ice bucket on the back seat. Ralph and Mary, who had been married for three years, were acting out their shared fantasy. Once in the room, Mary enticed Ralph into seducing her slowly, pretending uncertainty. "I really don't know if I should!" she said coyly as he pretended clumsiness, fumbling to unbutton her blouse and acting bewildered by the complexities of the one-handed unsnapping of a push-up bra.
During their lovemaking, Mary intentionally cried out, "Oh Bill, you make me feel so good," and in the morning, Ralph pretended to have completely forgotten her name. It was a night not soon forgotten, providing the erotic content for many fantasies that followed.
Novelty can get lost in long-term relationships. When a couple becomes comfortable and familiar with each other sexually, they often forget to be romantic. The entire sexual scenario might become routine, taking place at the same time of the day, in the same location, and all too often in a hurry to completion. While it might be impractical for most of us to make love on a beach, in fantasy we can imagine the sound of the ocean, the warmth of the sand beneath our body, and the excitement of making love under the stars. Perhaps yours will be a fantasy of making love in the woods, or in an old barn, or in the backseat of a car you had as a teenager.
Some fantasies can be acted out, e.g., a pick up in a grocery store. But most fantasies are just private thoughts that need not have a complex storyline, or a cast of hundreds. Working too hard at building a sexual fantasy can become a distraction, defeating one of its purposes. The best fantasies are often quite simple and tied in with pleasant memories. Often it is visual, creating a mental image of a part of the partner's body that is pleasing to look at, but impossible to see in the dark or in a particular position. At times words can be added to the fantasy while forming the mental image "I love your buns."
Special fantasies can be saved for those times when an orgasm is a bit elusive. These favorites can often add the final bit of excitement needed to trigger a powerful climax. Search your inventory of fantasies. Is there one that is particularly powerful? A favorite that is best saved for the climax? If you discover that you have a trigger fantasy, use it sparingly so as not to wear it out. When you are close to orgasm and hovering on the brink, call up that trigger.
It is nice in the afterglow of a loving and lustful encounter to snuggle together and reminisce. Images of the encounter can then be stored for later retrieval to induce desire, maintain arousal, or even trigger an orgasm. Fantasies serve many functions from getting started to getting finished. Remember, sexual fantasies before, during and after a sexual encounter are normal, natural and often helpful in changing a routine experience into a new and exciting event.
By Robert W. Birch, Ph.D.
Women, in general, fantasize less than their male counterparts. Those women who do fantasize are typically less visual in their sexual fantasies, are usually less focused on genitals, and are more likely to construct a story with the emotional feelings of a romantic encounter. Women also tend to involve more olfactory and auditory memories... memories of smells and sounds. To be sure, however, there are women who masturbate to their fantasies, be they romantic or erotic.
Sexual fantasies can serve many purposes. They can induce sexual desire, maintain sexual arousal, enhance the sexual experience, trigger an orgasm, and preserve a memory.
The desire to be sexual is not something controlled by a switch and easily turned on following the eleven o'clock news. Many people, particularly as they age or as a relationship matures, find that the easy turn ons occur less frequently, particularly late at night. On those occasions when time is limited, fantasies can serve to focus attention on the anticipated erotic event and help induce the desire for sexual intimacy.
More than one person has told me, "I'm not able to get excited on a moment's notice. I need time to psych myself up." To induce desire, you can think ahead about what you would like to experience and what you and your partner will give and receive. Imagine the sexual encounter is your very first, but without those initial anxieties, and let it be, in your mind, a new and exciting adventure. Recall the good sexual feelings you have experienced and mentally reminisce about those most memorable past encounters. Conjure up the memory of a partner's warmth, softness, and gentle touch. See your partner's face in your mind's eye and recall that person's sounds of pleasure and the aroma of their excitement. Include only the graphic images you are comfortable with.
Desire can be induced mutually throughout the day, with, for example, a phone call to say, "I've been thinking of your wonderful body." The mid-day message, "You won't believe what I want to do to you tonight," might stir the erotic imagination of both partners, causing each to spend the day thinking of the possibilities in store for that night.
For those without a partner, fantasies during the day can become the prelude for an episode of self-loving that evening. Self-stimulation, the normal, natural way of experiencing solitary pleasure, is a healthy outlet for many who are alone. Fantasy during the day can certainly prepare you for the quiet celebration of your own sexual response.
Most of us have had the experience of beginning a sexual encounter, only to find our minds wandering off to the worries of the day or the pressing issues of tomorrow. Erotic fantasy can maintain arousal by pushing away the intrusive nonsexual thoughts. When distractions hit, we need only focus on a pleasant sexual memory or project an exciting visual image on our mental movie screen. Fantasies can be of our current sexual partner, but often they will revolve around persons from the past, coworkers, movie stars, or attractive strangers. Bringing others into fantasies is normal and is justified if it serves the current relationship by eliminating distractions that would otherwise dampen or destroy the passion. Obviously, if someone feels guilty about including others in his or her fantasy script, they should be left out. Some people like a cast of thousands, while others want to focus exclusively on their current partner.
Many people worry about their fantasies being too "kinky", but such fantasies are really quite common. Unusual fantasies can help maintain arousal and are harmless if there is no compulsion to actually experience an act that would be emotionally or physically harmful to oneself or to others. Whereas honesty is usually the best policy, discretion must be used in the sharing of some unusual fantasies or fantasies involving other people. It is rare that a couple can share such deep, dark, private thoughts without, at best, a little discomfort. Too often the reaction upon hearing a partner's most kinky fantasy is one of jealousy or distrust, if not anger and disgust.
One woman playfully imagined that her partner's penis was enormous, and reported how she would visualize engulfing this gigantic imaginary erection into her body. In her mind she would privately marveled at her vagina's ability to swallow up this massive tool. She quickly acknowledged, however, that she had no desire to experience anything that large in real life, but she did enjoy embellishing her fantasy with the thoughts of dressing this impressive male member in doll's clothing and taking it for walks in the park. During her sexual encounters, this fantasy helped rivet her attention on the pleasure she was feeling from the very adequate, reasonably-sized penis of her partner.
One night, this woman decided that it would be fun to share her giant penis fantasy with her partner. To her utter surprise, the man was devastated upon hearing her playful musings! He began worrying that she had been with men who had larger penises than his, fearing that these well-endowed men must have please her more than he could ever hope to do. He erroneously assumed that she could not enjoy his average-sized penis, and began to feel totally inadequate as her lover. Fearing he could not satisfy this woman, he backed off sexually. When he did try, he felt self-conscious and, as a result, often failed to become erect. This, of course, led to more avoidance and self-degradation.
In couples therapy this man worked on understanding that his partner's fantasy had nothing to do with his genital size or sexual performance, but made their shared intimacy more exciting for her. In our last therapy session he began laughing and, when questioned, shared his own "pet" fantasy. He had for many years fantasized he was making love to a virgin and that her vagina was the town's tightest. Both agreed that they loved each other, loved the sexuality they shared, and would never again ask about the private fantasies each used to dispel the occasional intruding distractions. The also learned that in reality, tight vaginas and large penises are immaterial when a relationship is based on love and mutual respect.
The consequences of disclosure were more serious for another couple. The man fantasized about having sex with his wife's younger married sister. While he found the sister attractive, he had no illusions about her commitment to her husband and would never, in reality, make a pass at her. When he shared his fantasy, however, his wife expressed anger and disbelief. She became extremely uncomfortable whenever her sister was around and believed that she had to watch them both closely for any signs of subtle flirtation. Angry that she now felt distrusting, not only of her husband, but of her sister as well, she chose to end her marriage with the man rather than further damage her relationship with her sister. The fantasy proved to be too close, too personal, and too threatening.
Many shared fantasies, however, enhance desire and maintain arousal. One night a man entered a singles bar, propped himself up on a bar stool and slowly rotated, carefully surveying the women around him. Apparently no one caught his eye, so he turned his back on the scene and sipped quietly on his drink. About fifteen minutes later, a woman walked in. As her eyes adjusted to the darkened room, she also scrutinized the crowd. She wandered around a bit, being careful not to make eye contact with any of the men scattered around the room. After a few minutes of aimless wandering, she moved up beside the man who was seemingly intent on nursing his drink. Sliding between him and the person sitting next to him, she leaned toward the bar to catch the bartender's attention. As she did, the man felt her breast brush lightly across his arm, but he did not look her way.
After being served, the woman stepped back, drink in hand, and stood behind the man. Aware of her presence, the man turned and looked into her eyes. His unoriginal inquiry, "Do you come her very often?" was met with an abrupt, "No!" As he turned toward her, his leg came to rest against her thigh. She made no attempt to avoid the contact, but waited for him to continue his attempt to initiate conversation. Awkwardly he asked, "What do you do for fun?" Both grinned at her response, "I pick up strange men in singles bars." At this point the drink he had been nursing so patiently was gulped down in record time and he asked her to dance. She played at being reluctant, but allowed him to convince her. On the dance floor, they danced as though each was covered by porcupine quills and a large man on a Harley-Davidson could have driven between them. As they continued to dance, however, they moved closer until, from a distance, it looked as though their bodies had blended into one.
As they left together he asked, "Shall we take your car or mine?" Again giggling, they took his car to the nearest motel, where he produced a bottle of wine from an ice bucket on the back seat. Ralph and Mary, who had been married for three years, were acting out their shared fantasy. Once in the room, Mary enticed Ralph into seducing her slowly, pretending uncertainty. "I really don't know if I should!" she said coyly as he pretended clumsiness, fumbling to unbutton her blouse and acting bewildered by the complexities of the one-handed unsnapping of a push-up bra.
During their lovemaking, Mary intentionally cried out, "Oh Bill, you make me feel so good," and in the morning, Ralph pretended to have completely forgotten her name. It was a night not soon forgotten, providing the erotic content for many fantasies that followed.
Novelty can get lost in long-term relationships. When a couple becomes comfortable and familiar with each other sexually, they often forget to be romantic. The entire sexual scenario might become routine, taking place at the same time of the day, in the same location, and all too often in a hurry to completion. While it might be impractical for most of us to make love on a beach, in fantasy we can imagine the sound of the ocean, the warmth of the sand beneath our body, and the excitement of making love under the stars. Perhaps yours will be a fantasy of making love in the woods, or in an old barn, or in the backseat of a car you had as a teenager.
Some fantasies can be acted out, e.g., a pick up in a grocery store. But most fantasies are just private thoughts that need not have a complex storyline, or a cast of hundreds. Working too hard at building a sexual fantasy can become a distraction, defeating one of its purposes. The best fantasies are often quite simple and tied in with pleasant memories. Often it is visual, creating a mental image of a part of the partner's body that is pleasing to look at, but impossible to see in the dark or in a particular position. At times words can be added to the fantasy while forming the mental image "I love your buns."
Special fantasies can be saved for those times when an orgasm is a bit elusive. These favorites can often add the final bit of excitement needed to trigger a powerful climax. Search your inventory of fantasies. Is there one that is particularly powerful? A favorite that is best saved for the climax? If you discover that you have a trigger fantasy, use it sparingly so as not to wear it out. When you are close to orgasm and hovering on the brink, call up that trigger.
It is nice in the afterglow of a loving and lustful encounter to snuggle together and reminisce. Images of the encounter can then be stored for later retrieval to induce desire, maintain arousal, or even trigger an orgasm. Fantasies serve many functions from getting started to getting finished. Remember, sexual fantasies before, during and after a sexual encounter are normal, natural and often helpful in changing a routine experience into a new and exciting event.
By Robert W. Birch, Ph.D.
Dangers of Anal Sex
Unprotected anal sex is a high risk activity regardless of sexual orientation. Research suggests that although gay men are more likely to engage in anal sex, heterosexual couples are more likely not to use condoms when doing so.
Anal sex is more risky than vaginal, since being very thin tissues of anus and rectum can be easily damaged during such sex activities as anal intercourse or use of anal toys. Even slight injuries can become "open gates" for various bacteria and viruses, including HIV. This implies that anal sex does require some certain safety measures. First of all, any partners who practice anal sex should be aware of the necessity of using a condom. The condom must be put on properly, otherwise it does not provide reliable protection. Users should keep in mind that oil-based lubricants damage latex. For this reason water-based lubricants should be used for anal sex. Those who have allergy to latex should consider use of non-latex condoms, for instance polyurethane condoms that are compatible with both oil-based and water-based lubricants.
Condoms should also be used with sex toys. Through putting a condom on the sex toy a user provides better hygiene and prevents transmission of infections if the sex toy is shared. Cleaning of anal sex toys is also a very important matter as many anal sex toys are made of porous materials. Pores retain viruses and bacteria. For this reason users should clean anal toys (plugs, anal vibrators) thoroughly, preferably with use of special sex toy cleaners. Glass sex toys are more preferred for sexual uses because of their non-porus nature and ability to be sterilized between uses.
Oral Sex and HIV
HIV can pose a small risk for both the active (person giving the oral stimulation) and receptive (person receiving oral stimulation) partner.
Transmission from an HIV positive receptive partner to an HIV negative active partner may occur when the active partner gets sexual fluid (semen or vaginal fluid) or blood (from menstruation or a wound somewhere in the genital or anal region) into a cut, sore, ulcer or area of inflammation somewhere in their mouth or throat. The linings of the mouth and throat are very resistant to viral infections such as HIV, so infection is unlikely if they are healthy.
Transmission from an HIV positive active partner to an HIV negative receptive partner is generally believed to be less common. This is because HIV is normally only present in saliva in very low levels that are not sufficient to cause infection. The only risk in this scenario would be from bleeding wounds or gums in the HIV positive person’s mouth or on their lips, which may transfer blood onto the mucous membranes of the other person’s genitals or anus, or into any cuts or sores they may have. Hepatitis C can also be transmitted this way.
What is the risk of HIV transmission via oral sex?
The risk of HIV transmission from an infected partner through oral sex is much smaller than the risk of HIV transmission from anal or vaginal sex. Because of this, measuring the exact risk of HIV transmission as a result of oral sex is very difficult. In addition, since most sexually active individuals practice oral sex in addition to other forms of sex (such as vaginal and/or anal sex) when transmission occurs, it is difficult to determine whether or not it occurred as a result of oral sex or other more risky sexual activities. Finally, several co-factors can increase the risk of HIV transmission through oral sex, including oral ulcers and wounds, bleeding gums, genital sores, genital or oral piercings, and the presence of other STDs.
When scientists describe the risk of transmitting an infectious disease, like HIV, the term "theoretical risk" is often used. Very simply, "theoretical risk" means that passing an infection from one person to another is possible, even though there may not yet be any actual documented cases. "Theoretical risk" is not the same as likelihood. In other words, stating that HIV infection is "theoretically possible" does not necessarily mean it is likely to happen - only that it might. Documented risk, on the other hand, is used to describe transmission that has actually occurred, been investigated, and documented in the scientific literature.
Various scientific studies have been performed around the world to try and document and study instances of HIV transmission through oral sex. A programme in San Francisco studied 198 people, nearly all gay or bisexual men. The subjects stated that they had only had oral sex for a year, from six months preceding the six-month study to its end. 20 per cent of the study participants (39 people) reported performing oral sex on partners they knew to be HIV positive. 35 of those did not use a condom and 16 reported swallowing cum. No one became HIV positive during the study, although the small number of participants performing oral sex on HIV positive partners meant the researchers could only say that there was a less than 2.8 per cent chance of infection through oral sex over a year.1 In 2000, a different San Francisco study of gay men who had recently acquired HIV infection found that 7.8 per cent of these infections were attributed to oral sex.2 However, the results of the study have since been called into question due to the reliability of the participants' data.
Measuring the exact risk of HIV transmission as a result of oral sex is very difficult.
In June 2002, a study conducted amongst 135 HIV negative Spanish heterosexuals, who were in a sexual relationship with a person who was HIV positive, reported that over 19,000 instances of unprotected oral sex had not led to any cases of HIV transmission.3 The study also looked at contributing factors that could affect the potential transmission of HIV through oral sex. They monitored viral load and asked questions such as whether ejaculation in the mouth occurred and how good oral health was. Amongst HIV positive men, 34 per cent had ejaculated into the mouths of their partners. Viral load levels were available for 60 people in the study, 10 per cent of whom had levels over 10,000 copies. Nearly 16 per cent of the HIV positive people had CD4 counts below 200. The study, conducted over a ten year period between 1990 and 2000, adds to the growing number of studies which suggest varying levels of risk of HIV transmission from oral sex when compared to anal or vaginal intercourse.
At the 4th International Oral AIDS Conference held in South Africa, the risk of transmission through oral sex was estimated to be approximately 0.04 per cent per contact.4 This percentage figure is a lot lower than the two American figures, because this figure is a risk per contact percentage, whereas the other figures are percentage risks over much longer time periods. Oral sex is still regarded as a low-risk sexual activity in terms of HIV transmission, but only when more work is done will we be clearer as to the risks of oral sex.
While it is very difficult to ever know how HIV transmission occurred, according to a factsheet on oral sex produced by the CDC in 20005, there have been a few documented cases of transmission during oral sex. These have occurred in both receptive and active partners during fellatio, cunnilingus and anilingus.
The already low risk of becoming infected with HIV from oral sex can be reduced still further by using condoms. Flavoured condoms are available for those who don’t like the taste of latex or spermicide. For cunnilingus or anilingus, plastic food wrap, a condom cut open, or a dental dam (a thin square of latex) can serve as a physical barrier to prevent transmission of HIV and many other STDs
7.4.08
Perubahan Kelamin Laki-laki Menjelang Dewasa
Munculnya dorongan seksual pada remaja dipicu oleh perubahan dan pertumbuhan hormon kelamin sebagai akibat dari kematangan mental dan fisiknya. Secara garis besar perubahan itu menurut Akhmad Azhar Abu Miqdad (1997), terdapat pada kelamin primer, kelamin sekunder dan kelamin tertier.
a. Tanda perubahan kelamin primer
Tanda perubahan kelamin primer dimulai dengan berfungsinya organ-organ genetal yang ada, baik di dalam maupun di luar badan atau berfungsinya organ tertentu yang erat kaitannya dengan persetubuhan dan proses reproduksi.
Perubahan ini jika terjadi pada laki-laki ditandai dengan mulai keluarnya air mani (sperma) saat mimpi basah. Sedangkan pada perempuan ditandai dengan menarche atau haid pertama kali. Mulai berfungsinya organ seksual tersebut akan diikuti dengan kesiapan organ tersebut untuk membuahi dan dibuahi (hamil).
b. Tanda perubahan organ sekunder
Kelamin sekunder adalah organ tubuh tertentu yang tidak ada hubungannya dengan proses pembuahan atau proses reproduksi. Pada laki-laki perubahan ini ditandai dengan:
1. Perubahan suara (membesar dan sedikit parau).
2. Bidang bahu melebar.
3. Sering mimpi basah.
4. "Perubahan" penis jika ada rangsangan seksual.
5. Mulai tumbuh bulu-bulu pada organ tertentu (ketiak, dada dan sekitar kelamin).
Sedangkan pada perempuan, perubahan organ sekunder ini ditandai dengan:
1. Suara lebih bagus (halus).
2. Kulit muka dan sekitar badan halus dan kencang.
3. Bidang bahu mengecil, sedangkan bidang pinggul membesar.
4. Buah dada mulai membesar.
5. Tumbuh bulu-bulu di sekitar ketiak dan alat kelamin.
6. Alat kelamin membesar dan mulai berfungsi.
c. Tanda perubahan pada organ tertier
Tanda perubahan organ tertier ini ada hubungannya dengan psikis. Yaitu laki-laki nampak kelelakiannya dan wanita nampak kewanitaannya dalam segala gerak tubuhnya. Intinya laki-laki dan perempuan memiliki kekhasan tersendiri yang bisa membedakan keduanya.
Secara garis besar perubahan organ ini pada laki-laki adalah ada kecenderungan untuk menarik lawan jenis (aktif) dan kecenderungan untuk hubungan seksual. Sedangkan pada perempuan sebaliknya, ia cenderung pasif tapi tetap ingin diperhatikan lawan jenisnya.
Sumber Masalah Seks Remaja
Perilaku negatif remaja terutama hubungannya dengan penyimpangan seksualitas, pada dasarnya bukan murni tindakan diri mereka saja, melainkan ada faktor pendukung atau mempengaruhi dari luar (faktor eksternal). Faktor-faktor yang menjadi sumber penyimpangan tersebut adalah:
Pertama, kualitas diri remaja itu sendiri seperti, perkembangan emosional yang tidak sehat, mengalami hambatan dalam pergaulan sehat, kurang mendalami norma agama, ketidakmampuan mempergunakan waktu luang, tidak mampu dalam mengatasi masalah sendiri, berada dalam kelompok yang tidak baik, dan memiliki kebiasaan negatif terutama di rumah atau kurang disiplin dalam menjalani kehidupan di rumah.
Kedua, kualitas lingkungan keluarga yang tidak mendukung anak untuk berlaku baik seperti, anak kurang bahkan tidak mendapatkan kasih-sayang berarti akibat kesibukan kedua orangtua di luar rumah, dan pergeseran norma keluarga dalam mengembangkan norma positif seperti tidak adanya pendidikan dan kebiasaan melakukan norma agama. Di samping itu keluarga tidak memberikan arahan tantang seks yang sehat.
Ketiga, kualitas lingkungan yang kurang sehat, seperti lingkungan yang tidak ada pengajian agama dan lingkungan masyarakat yang telah mengalami kesenjangan komunikasi (gap) antar tetangga.
Keempat, minimnya kualitas informasi yang masuk pada remaja sebagai akibat globalisasi. Akibatnya anak remaja sangat kesulitan atau jarang mendapatkan informasi sehat dalam hal seksualitas. Bahkan justru media massa kini terutama media remaja cenderung mengutamakan bisnis dengan lebih banyak mengekspose seksualitas yang tidak sehat dengan mengesampingkan pendidikan moral.
Dengan demikian, penyimpangan seksual remaja sampai kapan pun akan tetap menggejala sebelum terpecahkan empat masalah tersebut di atas. Terutama kehidupan agama di lingkungan keluarga, mengingat masalah masyarakat berawal dari masalah di keluarga.
a. Tanda perubahan kelamin primer
Tanda perubahan kelamin primer dimulai dengan berfungsinya organ-organ genetal yang ada, baik di dalam maupun di luar badan atau berfungsinya organ tertentu yang erat kaitannya dengan persetubuhan dan proses reproduksi.
Perubahan ini jika terjadi pada laki-laki ditandai dengan mulai keluarnya air mani (sperma) saat mimpi basah. Sedangkan pada perempuan ditandai dengan menarche atau haid pertama kali. Mulai berfungsinya organ seksual tersebut akan diikuti dengan kesiapan organ tersebut untuk membuahi dan dibuahi (hamil).
b. Tanda perubahan organ sekunder
Kelamin sekunder adalah organ tubuh tertentu yang tidak ada hubungannya dengan proses pembuahan atau proses reproduksi. Pada laki-laki perubahan ini ditandai dengan:
1. Perubahan suara (membesar dan sedikit parau).
2. Bidang bahu melebar.
3. Sering mimpi basah.
4. "Perubahan" penis jika ada rangsangan seksual.
5. Mulai tumbuh bulu-bulu pada organ tertentu (ketiak, dada dan sekitar kelamin).
Sedangkan pada perempuan, perubahan organ sekunder ini ditandai dengan:
1. Suara lebih bagus (halus).
2. Kulit muka dan sekitar badan halus dan kencang.
3. Bidang bahu mengecil, sedangkan bidang pinggul membesar.
4. Buah dada mulai membesar.
5. Tumbuh bulu-bulu di sekitar ketiak dan alat kelamin.
6. Alat kelamin membesar dan mulai berfungsi.
c. Tanda perubahan pada organ tertier
Tanda perubahan organ tertier ini ada hubungannya dengan psikis. Yaitu laki-laki nampak kelelakiannya dan wanita nampak kewanitaannya dalam segala gerak tubuhnya. Intinya laki-laki dan perempuan memiliki kekhasan tersendiri yang bisa membedakan keduanya.
Secara garis besar perubahan organ ini pada laki-laki adalah ada kecenderungan untuk menarik lawan jenis (aktif) dan kecenderungan untuk hubungan seksual. Sedangkan pada perempuan sebaliknya, ia cenderung pasif tapi tetap ingin diperhatikan lawan jenisnya.
Sumber Masalah Seks Remaja
Perilaku negatif remaja terutama hubungannya dengan penyimpangan seksualitas, pada dasarnya bukan murni tindakan diri mereka saja, melainkan ada faktor pendukung atau mempengaruhi dari luar (faktor eksternal). Faktor-faktor yang menjadi sumber penyimpangan tersebut adalah:
Pertama, kualitas diri remaja itu sendiri seperti, perkembangan emosional yang tidak sehat, mengalami hambatan dalam pergaulan sehat, kurang mendalami norma agama, ketidakmampuan mempergunakan waktu luang, tidak mampu dalam mengatasi masalah sendiri, berada dalam kelompok yang tidak baik, dan memiliki kebiasaan negatif terutama di rumah atau kurang disiplin dalam menjalani kehidupan di rumah.
Kedua, kualitas lingkungan keluarga yang tidak mendukung anak untuk berlaku baik seperti, anak kurang bahkan tidak mendapatkan kasih-sayang berarti akibat kesibukan kedua orangtua di luar rumah, dan pergeseran norma keluarga dalam mengembangkan norma positif seperti tidak adanya pendidikan dan kebiasaan melakukan norma agama. Di samping itu keluarga tidak memberikan arahan tantang seks yang sehat.
Ketiga, kualitas lingkungan yang kurang sehat, seperti lingkungan yang tidak ada pengajian agama dan lingkungan masyarakat yang telah mengalami kesenjangan komunikasi (gap) antar tetangga.
Keempat, minimnya kualitas informasi yang masuk pada remaja sebagai akibat globalisasi. Akibatnya anak remaja sangat kesulitan atau jarang mendapatkan informasi sehat dalam hal seksualitas. Bahkan justru media massa kini terutama media remaja cenderung mengutamakan bisnis dengan lebih banyak mengekspose seksualitas yang tidak sehat dengan mengesampingkan pendidikan moral.
Dengan demikian, penyimpangan seksual remaja sampai kapan pun akan tetap menggejala sebelum terpecahkan empat masalah tersebut di atas. Terutama kehidupan agama di lingkungan keluarga, mengingat masalah masyarakat berawal dari masalah di keluarga.
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